It has been said that “anxiety is nothing but repeatedly
re-experiencing failure in advance.”
Read that one a couple times and let it sink in. Anxiety. Worry. It is as commonplace as
breathing and we live with it as unconsciously as our lungs exchange carbon
dioxide for oxygen. It is so common as to occupy our thoughts, our
ambitions, our attractions, our aversions, and we may be little aware of its
presence in our lives much less its effects.
I was in my thirties before it dawned on me that I had a profound fear
of failure. Who knows why, I had never really experienced any significant
failures. But there it was nonetheless. Of course this fear was
cloaked by a series of successes that gave the illusion that my life was a
gracefully unfolding narrative of ease, certainty, and inner freedom. I
had worked hard, studied hard, stayed focused, got lucky a few times, and was
livin' the dream. Or was I?
Beneath that thin veneer, I'd have to admit that that manifest destiny
of success was only a mirage. Under the surface I was just as uncertain
and anxious as the next guy. Driven less by inner freedom than a fear of
failing, I continued on through life, doing the right things, collecting
imaginary trophies along the way, wondering why each new achievement couldn't
sustain my ego beyond the world's applause.
And I suppose it has always been that way, even in Jesus’ time.
Jesus looked lovingly at Martha's busy preparations and said,
"Martha, Martha you are worried and anxious about many things"(Lk
10:42). Makes me wonder if Martha too had such a complex. What failure
was she constantly repeating in advance that made her so anxious? Under
the surface of so much productivity, what drove this perpetual motion, this
unrelenting busyness?
Without discarding the value of hard work, Jesus kindly reminds us,
"Mary has chosen the good portion, which shall not be taken away from
her"(Lk 10:42). That "good portion," I believe, is the peace that "transcends understanding"(Ph 4:7), a peace that the world cannot give (Jn 14:27), a peace that is not to be attained through achievement but received by the meek as
pure gift (Ps 37:11).
Take a moment to examine your own heart. What is weighing on you? What worries are you unable to
shake? What are you anxious about? We really have
nothing to fear. God has won the
victory. So throw your anxieties
to the wind, and repeatedly re-experience the glory of Christ that is the same
yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
“Do not worry about anything . . .”
Philippians 4:6
This is a great reflection and reminder of who is in gentle control of our lives .....
ReplyDeleteI love the way you put that - the God who is in "gentle control" of our lives. Thanks for your comment!
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ReplyDeletehahaha thanks Michael for the helpful reminder! No worries here.
Yeah, no worries at all Diane. Only a WEDDING in two weeks to prepare for! So excited (ie. Are you sure you want my kids in it?)!
DeleteHi Michael, this is Patrick Grady. I am a college student, Roman Catholic, young life leader in Clarksville TN. I have read your blogs and absolutely love your mission. I was wondering if I could call you up sometime and talk to you about your experiences as a catholic involved with young life, and learn more about the bridges you are forming and maybe try to get involved myself. Thanks again for what you are doing and God bless.
ReplyDeletePatrick, wonderful to hear from you! I'd be happy to talk with you any time. Feel free to email me at mhavercamp@gmail.com and we can schedule a time to chat. Looking forward to it!
DeleteMichael
Michael - In our spirits we don't battle with anxiety, in that place we have the mind of Christ. But we don't sense our spirits much as our body and soul are so loud and destructive when we embark on the path of truth, light, peace, and love. Take some outrageous step of faith, something out of the norm, and you will very quickly hear the voices that war against us all: "You can't do that, that won't work, and what if God doesn't provide (?), what makes you think he will provide (?),how are you going to care for your family when the roof caves in (?), yadda, yadda, yadda." It's an instant attack usually, relentless if not resisted, and a faith killer when listened to. Yes, worry, fear, and anxiety are in and of themselves faith - negative faith. They are like little demons that attack us daily. Their fruit is unhappiness, discouragement, bad health, deminished faith in God, snuffed out dreams, and so much more. It's interesting how so many of us might say or feel, "I wish I could hear God's voice better." But when it's not God's voice, but the opposite voices (darkness) they come through loud and clear. Our souls are accesed by the evil one, not our spirits (he can't go there), and the cacophony of negative noise in our souls is the daily battleground. By souls I refer to all that we think (thoughts), see, hear, taste, touch, and smell. This is where the battle takes place for all of us, to line our soul thoughts up with the peace and light that already resides in our spirits. Worry and anxiety are two of the primary weapons fired at us almost daily. Jim Rayburn
ReplyDeleteA great word Jim. It is amazing, when you really stop and think about it, how much worry and anxiety really affect our lives. Yet God wants us to live in perfect freedom, in that deep and abiding love that casts out all fear, and to place all of our needs before Him. Easier said than done!
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