How Young Life Helped Me Be a Better Catholic

I’ve known about God my whole life. I was born into a Catholic family and baptized as a baby. We went to church every weekend without question, I went to Sunday school, we prayed before meals, and we did everything Catholics are supposed to do. I was introduced to God at an early age and all throughout my childhood I definitely thought I knew who God was. When I was in second grade my mom enrolled me in Holy Family Catholic School, and I remained there until I graduated from eighth grade in 2010. It was at Holy Family that I really got the foundation for my faith.

My childhood was different than normal. I was forced to grow up quicker than most kids because when I was 5, my dad decided to leave our family. My mom protected me and my two younger siblings from most of the ugly details and raised us on her own as a single mother. Because I was so young, I didn’t know what divorce was or really understand it. I don’t remember much about my dad at all. I could probably count on one hand how many times I’ve seen him since he left, and he was a subject my family and I never really talked about.

As I got older I started to understand that my family was different, and I spent a good portion of my life trying to figure out why he left. I convinced myself it was because I wasn’t good enough, and I believed that for a long time. I put a lot of energy into trying to be good enough and trying to fit in. I tried really hard to impress people because I wanted to feel like I belonged. However, I never really opened up to anyone about why it was so important for me to fit in because I didn’t want people to see me as some broken girl or different than them. Mostly I was just trying to be normal.

During all this I was still at Holy Family, and even though I was surrounded by the faith every day, it was not a big part of my life at all. I would go to religion class and Mass all the time during the school week, and I memorized all the prayers and learned all the bible stories. Yet even with all that, it never occurred to me that God could be something more than just going to church on Sundays and memorizing prayers. I had never connected Jesus’ death to my own sins, and I didn’t have even the slightest clue to the capacity of Christ’s love for us. I realize now that while at Holy Family, I was just going through the motions of having faith without ever understanding what I was doing.

In 2012, I went to Young Life camp at Sharptop Cove. YL camp opened my eyes and made me realize that there was still so much about God I didn’t know. At YL I learned that Christ wanted to have a relationship with me, and that was something I’d never heard before. I had a hard time believing it because just as camp made me realize how great a life with God could look, it also brought up a lot of old feelings that I had tried to bottle up inside of me. Growing up I never talked about my dad and tried to brush off the subject when people brought it up. But after camp I thought about it a lot and tried to make sense of him leaving. I was wearing myself out trying to understand something that really couldn’t be understood, and I started to grow increasingly angry at my dad for leaving. I could come up with no other reason for him to leave other than he didn’t want me, and so I had to work through that before I could really get serious about my faith. The amazing relief and joy that a relationship with Christ could bring me was clouded by the feelings of anger and resentment I felt towards my own dad. I couldn’t understand how anyone, let alone God, could want me when my own dad didn’t even want me.

I didn’t become serious about my faith until March of my junior year when I went on a retreat called Chrysalis. On the second night of that retreat, I finally let go of my struggles and I gave them up to God. For the first time, I was able to feel God’s unending grace, and that feeling is indescribable. Something clicked in my brain that night and I realized that even though I don’t have an earthly father, I have a heavenly father who will always be there and who loves me more than anything, and for Him I will always be good enough. This realization was life changing, and I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I decided to fully give control of my life to Christ that night and begin a relationship with Him.

Coming home from Chrysalis I had a new outlook on life and a renewed appreciation for my Catholic faith. Chrysalis not only allowed me to experience Christ in a way that I never had before, but it also helped me better understand why I was Catholic. Growing with Christ on a personal level helped me to realize the importance of going to Mass and receiving the Eucharist. Although I came to these important realizations about my faith outside of a Catholic setting, it was through Chrysalis and Young Life that I was able to better understand why I was Catholic.

In the months following, I continued to face new struggles and still dealt with old feelings of insecurity from time to time, but it was different now because I had the love of Christ in me. I stayed involved in Young Life and continued to push myself further in my faith by becoming a Wyldlife leader during my senior year.

While I learned the “fundamentals” of my faith through going to Mass and religion class, Young Life provided me with important fellowship. I got to know Jesus on a deep, personal level and I was shown firsthand what a life with Christ looks like through my Young Life leaders.  However, I realized it was important for me to not lose sight of my Catholic roots. For this reason I also became more involved in my church by becoming a Eucharistic minister and teaching Sunday school. Looking at my faith now and reflecting on the journey I took to get where I am today, I realize that I could not have gotten this far without both Catholicism and Young Life. My faith and my beliefs continue to grow stronger each day, and because of the experiences I’ve had through Young Life, I am now surer than ever before of my Catholic identity in Christ.

*Rachel is an amazing young woman from Jasper, IN. I met her during the Young Life Catholic Adult Guest Camp at Rockbridge where she served on Work Crew. Rachel shared her testimony with our Catholic adult guests and just blew us out of the water. Her poise, joy for the Lord, and commitment to her Catholic faith is a testament to the beautiful relationship that can exist between Young Life and the Catholic Church.